So yesterday, was not the best day in the world for me....I went to work and made better money than I usually do which was somewhat of a plus and then towards the end of my shift...things just started going downhill from there.
Have you ever had one of those days where it just felt like everything that could go wrong went wrong and nothing was going your way and then you came to point where you really just didn't give a....anymore??? Well that was one of the days I was having.
At work, this girl kept asking me to pick up her tables so she could leave and go to work. Now granted I empathize with her situation but at the same time, I'm like am I the only person out of all of us servers that could take these tables for you and on top of that...YOU should have made it clear to the managers and hostesses what your situation was....well she asked me to take a second table and at first I was going to take it but then I got cut and I said bump this because I had plans to go look for a shirt or something to go to this probate, get my eyebrows done and then come back to do something with my head so I could hang out with my sisters tonight. Well........
I couldn't find anything cute at any of the places I went too. But my eyebrows came out semi decent and that made me really happy, but then it came time for the hair. No matter what I tried or solutions I came up with to the problems I was having I could not get my hair to do what I wanted in the amount of time that I had AND I couldn't find not one thing to where....The probate was supposed to start around 7:30....I gave up at 6:11 and began berating myself and the life I have.
And I know most would wonder, "why was that crucial? Its just hair, just clothes, just an event," but for me it was more than that. I have been feeling trapped and alone and all I wanted to do was get out and be seen. Get out and get some attention for looking good, share some laughs with my sisters, get a little entertainment and feel good about looking good....and who are we kidding snag a number or two. But that couldn't happen because my hair was looking a H.A.M. (hot ....mess), my clothes and shoes are located in either my room or in my storage space and I can never find anything when I need it. I have no money to really just buy anything cute and new when I don't feel like looking. I don't have any money to get my hair done or anyone that I can count on to do it for me....I have no patience to take the time out to practice so I can do it myself....
Most importantly, I don't have a ride or die person, who I can talk to about anything....That person you can call no matter what time of the day and they will be there for YOU. That person who will drop everything and come comfort you. That person who will do anything in their power to make you feel better.
I feel like I have and am always that person that continually comes through for other people. When they need someone to hang it with I'm there, when they need someone to drive Lord knows where I come, when they need someone to help them with their hair I'm there, someone to talk to about man problems I listen, someone to make them laugh I try, someone to just simply be in their presence I am present....but I have no one like that for me....
Sometimes I feel like I could cut myself off from the world...and it wouldn't make a difference to anyone...
Have you ever had one of those days where it just felt like everything that could go wrong went wrong and nothing was going your way and then you came to point where you really just didn't give a....anymore??? Well that was one of the days I was having.
At work, this girl kept asking me to pick up her tables so she could leave and go to work. Now granted I empathize with her situation but at the same time, I'm like am I the only person out of all of us servers that could take these tables for you and on top of that...YOU should have made it clear to the managers and hostesses what your situation was....well she asked me to take a second table and at first I was going to take it but then I got cut and I said bump this because I had plans to go look for a shirt or something to go to this probate, get my eyebrows done and then come back to do something with my head so I could hang out with my sisters tonight. Well........
I couldn't find anything cute at any of the places I went too. But my eyebrows came out semi decent and that made me really happy, but then it came time for the hair. No matter what I tried or solutions I came up with to the problems I was having I could not get my hair to do what I wanted in the amount of time that I had AND I couldn't find not one thing to where....The probate was supposed to start around 7:30....I gave up at 6:11 and began berating myself and the life I have.
And I know most would wonder, "why was that crucial? Its just hair, just clothes, just an event," but for me it was more than that. I have been feeling trapped and alone and all I wanted to do was get out and be seen. Get out and get some attention for looking good, share some laughs with my sisters, get a little entertainment and feel good about looking good....and who are we kidding snag a number or two. But that couldn't happen because my hair was looking a H.A.M. (hot ....mess), my clothes and shoes are located in either my room or in my storage space and I can never find anything when I need it. I have no money to really just buy anything cute and new when I don't feel like looking. I don't have any money to get my hair done or anyone that I can count on to do it for me....I have no patience to take the time out to practice so I can do it myself....
Most importantly, I don't have a ride or die person, who I can talk to about anything....That person you can call no matter what time of the day and they will be there for YOU. That person who will drop everything and come comfort you. That person who will do anything in their power to make you feel better.
I feel like I have and am always that person that continually comes through for other people. When they need someone to hang it with I'm there, when they need someone to drive Lord knows where I come, when they need someone to help them with their hair I'm there, someone to talk to about man problems I listen, someone to make them laugh I try, someone to just simply be in their presence I am present....but I have no one like that for me....
Sometimes I feel like I could cut myself off from the world...and it wouldn't make a difference to anyone...
