What is life? How does it progress?

I'm sitting at one of my most favorite places in the world, the Fort Worth Japanese Gardens and I'm in awe at what's in front of me. All I see are dead plants and barren trees.

The scene in front of me is void of life and happiness. The trees have no leaves on them, the once flowering plants are a dark brown. I wonder what happened to this place.


It used to be bursting with color. Varying greens, bright pinks, yellows reds and oranges. Sun shining through the vibrant green leaves of the trees.



And now its as if some curse has swept through wiping away all the colors and life that were once here.

As I continue to mull over the spectacle in front of me, I start to see the beauty of the Winter Japanese Gardens. Even though it appears the life has left this place in a matter of months it will be bursting with life again. It is just going through its cycle of the seasons and right now is its down time.

That's what the nature of the human life is. It is a continual cycle. There is no cycle that is always progressing, always rising. A cycle is exactly that. A cycle with periods of ups AND downs, highs and lows. But it is in the lows that transformation happens. It is in the lows that we grow and gather strength.

I am in a low period and have been for many months now. I have been sulking in it, allowing it to destroy me. Instead of realizing the blessing that lies in it.

How can we grow when there is nothing wrong? How can we change if we have no reason to change? How can we start searching for something when there is nothing missing in our lives?

That is the purpose of the lows in our life cycle to challenge us to change, to grow in ways that would not be possible in the highs.

It is here that we are able to gather strength, learn patience, endurance, persistence, but more importantly it is here that we find ourselves, that we find God and Truth. It is here that we begin our quest for true bliss.

I see the beauty in the barren Winter Japanese Gardens and as such I see the beauty in the down time of my life. The beauty in knowing that I'm growing. It may be hard to see clearly and put my hands on it, but I'm growing in ways that no one can see except soul. I'm growing and learning about my life, my path, myself.

So if you're going through a down time, what do you see? What picture is in front of you? If it is something other than beauty, I would challenge you to begin searching, to begin seeking and see the beauty in the cycle of life; its ups and its downs.

So I meant to post this blog entry just days after I posted my 2011 reflections post, but here it is one month after the New Year. I can't believe it's almost February already. Needless to say, I at least set goals for myself on New Year's and at least I'm getting them to you now verses later.

If you've read my 2011 blog, you know that last year was a year of great beginnings for me, of triumphs, failures, more triumphs, more failures...A year of trying and I learned a great deal about spirituality and myself in the process. But for 2012, I want it to be the year that I truly begin to change myself, to truly make a concrete effort to be truly spiritual.

Last year, I spoke to myself a lot about wanting to be able to love all living beings genuinely, to get rid of many of my lower qualities especially impatience and anger, to trust in myself, believe in myself, know a little bit about my true self. I wasn't able to accomplish these things. I realize now that everything I just mentioned was a pretty huge chunk to try and attack in just the first year of my spiritual path. I'm fine with that, but I don't want the same thing for 2012. I want 2012 to MY year of TOTAL TRANSFORMATION.

So instead of setting such a significant amount of things to change, I tried to focus my goals around Acharya Shree's New Years lecture (click on the link to view his message, it was truly powerful). He too stated that 2012 was the year for true change. If you have ever talked about wanting to change yourself, he stated that this is the year to do it. He spoke of changing your lower qualities into higher ones and doing things around the number of 5. He didn't specify what things, just keep the number 5 in mind. Taking his advice, that's exactly what I did.

I want give you the exact specifics of everything I'm doing (mostly because I don't want to jinx myself ;-), but  I believe a general overview will suffice.

After much reflection and review of spiritual training from Acharya Shree, I decided that I wanted my goals to fall into 2 categories (if they can really divided anyway): physical and spiritual. I chose physical, because I know that in order for me to truly change myself, I have to cleanse myself. I can't cleanse my soul until the vessel that houses it is clean.

Physical:
1. 1 Year of Complete Yoga
2. Complete a Walk to Jog program
3. Incorporate more fruit into my diet
4. Drink at least 64 oz. of water per day
5. Develop a healthy routine for my skin

*These last 2 are vital considering the climate I live in.

My Spiritual goals are a lot more in-depth, exhaustive and more importantly personal than my physical. Instead of a list, I will summarize. As time progresses and if I become more comfortable, they may revealed through various blog posts.

For my spiritual goals, I chose 5 overall themes or visions that I have for myself this year and from these I created a list of lower qualities to transform into higher ones that would help me to achieve my overall 5 goals.  With these lower qualities, I have decided that instead of trying to transform all 5 at the same time to focus on one for a certain period of time before moving to the next one.

I also created a list of spiritual practices carried over from last year, given to me this year and some from myself that would also assist me in achieving my overall 5 goals. As a result, the length and intensity of my daily sadhana has increased significantly, but I'm ready for it. I'm ready to truly being working on myself in a more committed and challenging way.

This is one of the first New Year's that I've truly sat down and consciously, whole-heartedly thought about what I wanted this year to look like for me. Even though it may seem like I'm still taking on a lot, which in many ways I'm am, its not anything that I know I can't accomplish.

I hope that you're 2012 shapes out to be whatever you have pictured it to be and even if it doesn't go exactly as planned, that it still transforms and inspires you!

Happy 2012!!!

*I'm not  sure if you can read the writing, but if not it goes like this


It's like a new Sunrise...of Hope, of Prosperity, of Happiness.
It's like a new Beginning...of Thoughts, of Words, of Actions.
It's like a new Day...of Energy, of Strength, of Ideas.
It's like a Bunch of whole New things...of Prayers, of Friends, and of Love...

Happy New Year My Fellow Truth Seekers, Bloggers and Followers!

The year of 2011 has truly been a journey for me. As I look back on the experiences I've had and the people who have been a part of it, I'm truly grateful. 2011 was a year of new beginnings for me. It is the year that I truly began my spiritual journey; when I stopped searching and seeking and finally started doing. The search ended in 2011 and the journey began. At the beginning of the year, I was full of spiritual energy, full of life and motivation to do whatever I needed to do to know myself and God. I was excited to have actually met an enlightened master and even more appreciative and sincerely grateful that he accepted me as a student. I embarked on whatever sadhana he gave me with great enthusiasm and fervor. Like one of my fellow truth seekers and Elizabeth Gilbert have said, you know you are truly blessed if three things occur:

1. You are born a human.
2. You have a desire to know the divine, to know yourself.
3. To encounter an enlightened master.

In 2011, these 3 blessings were realized for me, but to my benefit not only did I meet an enlightened master but I also was granted the opportunity to learn from him, to be in his presence habitually.

I also started graduate school this year. Something I never thought I would be able to do; simply because I didn't think that I would get in. But I did. Not only that, I get to study a topic that I'm not only passionate about, but reminds me of my spiritual journey. I get to read about women and religion, women and religion on a regular basis. Who gets the chance to spend everyday surrounded by their personal interests. If this isn't an added bonus, this graduate program will allow for me to travel to India to conduct research as a part of my thesis!!!

Along with my spiritual path and graduate school, 2011 was the year that I began to mend broken bridges. And by that I mean reconnect with old friends, repair broken relationships with family. But I also maintained and strengthened new friendships. In doing so, I was able to take the first baby step in changing myself.

Which leads to 2011 being a year of trying. Trying??? You may ask. Yes. Although the beginning of the year could be characterized as "peaches and carrots," the latter half was not. After moving and starting graduate school, I began to see how hard it is to be spiritual in the world; not impossible just hard. I gained firsthand experience of the level of discipline and effort it takes in order to do so. Even though, I did my sadhana everyday it was hard to do it with the same level of energy.

I fell at times, but I kept coming back. I kept trying to get back to January 1, 2011. Even though, I thought I had fallen to the point of no return, I kept trying. Trying to change my habits, trying to be a better person, trying to be more positive, trying to be more disciplined, trying to be spiritual. At the end of the day, that's all that matters. You will fall, you will get mad, but as long as your trying...as long as you keep walking you will arrive at your destination.

Thank you 2011. Thank you for the highs, the lows, the struggles, the experience and the energy.