Dear Followers and Visitors,

If you have been following my blog or exploring the various content available, this entry is very out of the ordinary from the content to the timing and more.





I have recently decided to join the Invisible Children "25" Campaign. This quick and sudden decision may seem rash and not well thought out...and in some ways it is, but for the most part it is not.





Throughout my life, I have always prided myself on being a compassionate individual always wanting to do for others instead of myself. And at one point in time, I thought of this trait as a downfall, a weakness and opportunity to change. With time and much meditation, I have come to realize it's simply who I am and what I'm meant to do.





It has influenced many of my lifelong decisions, from all the volunteer work I did prior to college, during college, why I joined a sorority to why I one day plan on going back to grad school to get my degree.





But I've neglected this, neglected who I am for far too long and just watched and listened to the tragedies and sadness that plagues our world. And I finally had my AH-HA moment where it clicked to quit talking, quit watching and start doing.





Now I could easily just take a paycheck or two and donate, but that would be meaningless, purposeless. I've join this cause not only to raise money, but to spread the word, to inform and open the eyes of others. So I'm putting in the work, not just for money but to spark a fire in someone who will spark another and another, so that slowly we can change this world.

My lifelong vocation of service begins with this campaign, but will continue until I take my last breath.

If this has touched you in any way, please go to my fundraising page and donate whatever you can no matter how small or big at http://ic.stayclassy.org/member/ic-fundraising?fcid=51027 ....and share my efforts.

Before I begin this entry, I need to apologize. I have been in somewhat of a bad state the last couple of weeks which turned into a month of neglection from my blog; which kind of reflects a neglection from my soul.

The last month has been one of the toughest rollercoasters I've had to ride (although I'm sure there are worst to come).

I have fluctutated between the world and my soul. I've had doubts and worry; confusion and confidence; darkness with minimal light. While being in this flux, instead of cleaning my soul of the soot that surrounds it, I just pounded more and more on.

I went back to things that do nothing but keep me in the traps of the mind. That keep me in this cycle of the world.

During sadhana, one morning I realized that I truly needed to cleanse myself; to get rid of as many toxins and negativities as I could...I wasn't sure of exactly how to do this, but I knew I needed to do something.

I fasted. During that short stint, I realized that before I could truly get rid of all the dirt and crud that surrounds me, I had to get rid of the dirt and soot around me.

Meaning you put out what you put in.

I was eating junk foods like french fries, chips, popcorn, sodas, ice cream, cookies, vegetable eggrolls and pasta that had egg. I was putting in negative and harmful foods in my body.

My house, my living area wasn't clean. I hadn't vacuumed or dusted in weeks. All that accumulation from the negativities of each day was just sitting there. This is what I was sleeping in, clothing in.

No wonder, I was constantly going back and forth. No wonder why my soul was choking.

I had to stop or my soul would continue to choke until it took its last breath.

You have to purify your body and your environment before you can even FATHOM of going into the deep inner core of your soul.

I have come to realize and know a lot about myself...From who I am, what I am, where I came from, why I do and feel the way I do to where I'm going and so much more in just 3 months. Not all of it, in complete pictures, but glances that helped me to see.

Now I know this may sound crazy, but like I've said before my moments of realizations come at the oddest of times.

I was in my bathroom...getting ready to....when I realized that I've never had a real childhood. I know I've said to people during conversations about childhood, "Oh, I've never done that" or "I didn't get to do that."

I have said and admitted to what I haven't done, but never thought about what I was doing instead.

Now don't get me wrong, I rode bikes and played Barbie dolls like the rest of us...like in elementary school. But unlike others, I have been bred to be a planner...to constantly prepare for something ahead.

In college, I was preparing for a career; high school for college; middle school for high school and college and even in elementary school I was planning for college. Now that I'm done with school for the time being, I have to constantly plan at work on a daily basis, and plan for my re-entry into education.

Even outside of the realm of academia and corporate America, I plan at home. I plan my meals, my breaks, my free time, when I sleep, wake up, shower, talk on the phone, perform sadhana, clean, walk my dog...I mean the list goes on....

My dad came home and I was planning how I was going to get the entire house cleaned, his surprised birthday party (which turned out to be a flop), his groceries and more.

If we go to San Antonio, I was the one planning our trip, the times to leave, where would we go, stay and visit and eat.

I never knew that being a plan maker, also made me the unofficial leader. My family, my team at work and everyone around me looks to me for advice, suggestions, to be the example to follow.

My entire life has been making a plan for the future. Ever since my dad started me on Hooked On Phonics, my life as a plan maker was destined.

Now I'm at a crossroads. In order for me to get to where I want to go, I have to be in the present not the future. I have to get rid of the 23 years of planning that I have been raised to do my entire life. It's all I know and all I've ever known. Because of it, I am unable to enjoy the present, the moment that I'm currently in because I'm so used to planning for something that may or may not come.

So now, it has to go away....Nichollette, the plan maker, has to die.