Over the past 2 weeks or so, I have not been doing so well with my journey to finding God. Maybe I should clarify what I mean. I have always and will always believe that there is and only will be one God, one creator, of this world and everything in it. There is a difference in knowing and experiencing. I want to experience God the way that I experience my dad or my co workers. I want to hear God speaking to me as clearly as Candace calling me over the phone. I want to feel the warmth that is God, like I do the sun kissing my skin. This is what I mean by finding God.

I have researched and dived so deeply into finding God. Through books, online research and soul searching. Many of you, especially if you're of American origin, may feel as though Christianity should be the way for me. In the beginning I thought this was the case. After taking classes (on a university and honors level at Baylor), I'm not so sure anymore.

There are several instances where parts of the Holy Bible have been burned and duplicated by man. One of which, the 2 creation stories in Genesis. The order of woman's creation differs. In one she is created before animals and in the other she is created after. This is just one of which. I also have issues with woman's status and her relationship to men and God as portrayed by the Christian Church. I don't understand why women cannot take on leadership roles in the Church or why a woman should submit to a man? Does God really want us submitting to other human beings???  Following a man's lead, instead of having an equal partnership. I think God loves all of God's creation too much to allow relationships of inferiority to be established.

Even with that being said, my one and only sole reason for not being able to commit myself to the Christian Church is the requirement of Jesus Christ being the only savior, the only way to God. I do believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God, was the divine incarnate. But there are too many different cultures, ways of thought and living for there to be only way to God. I have read and learned about Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam and Judaism. If one truly delves into these teachings, one can see the numerous similarities between them. One can see the universal message in them all, LOVE and COMPASSION. In a later blog, I will discuss the similarities I have found between Christianity and Yoga and Christianity and Buddhism. If you would like to start on your own, try reading "Jesus in the Lotus: The Mystical Doorway between Christianity and Yogic Spirituality," by Russill Paul. In it he highlights the key messages and connections between the two traditions.  I have also begun reading "Living Buddha, Living Christ," by Thich Nhat Hanh. (did you know that there is content out there, that discusses Jesus' journeys to India and Buddhist centers during the lost 18 years of Christian history????)

Even if you would like to dismiss my previous points...try to find fault with this one. How can MAN determine salvation for another man? How can MAN judge others in their spiritual beliefs? How can GOD be limited in any way? God is a being that IS omnipresent, omniconscious,...pure omniscience. Is there any way that MAN can truly comprehend GOD'S plan for ALL of humankind?....The answer is simply no.

With that being said, I need something more than what Christianity offers. I NEED a personal, unique, clear, intimate, individual relationship with God. I need a way to connect with God personally. I started my journey with the simple phrase, "prayer is the art of talking to God, meditation is the art of listening to God." Thus began my journey into meditation. It is here that I began researching all and everything related to it, asanas (postures), mudras, different types, mantras and so on. Which led to yoga, which led to different types of yoga...siddha, kriya, kundalini and so on. Which led to yoga studios (Indigo Yoga, articles are posted about my experiences there). While attending yoga classes, i was told about the weekly meditation classes, which so happened to be offered by a buddhist monk. Thus began my look into Buddhism (which I've decided is not for me). My great friend, Tina, who was following me on my journey took me to Lake Shrine, a SRF ashram/retreat center. So I researched that and was amazed at what it had to offer and then ordered their at home lessons (which I have also written about in my blog). One would think that I was there, I found what I was looking for and then this weekend happened.....

So HEY everyone!!! I've been meaning to update everyone in my Sisterlocks, but I have just been hella busy and just flat out tired lately. But I did manage to take some before and after pics of my first washing and re-tightening...(ok so I lied I only have after pics lol).

The total process took roughly an hour and half for her to wash and retighten about 500 locks. I was quite impressed. I've never been able to get on and out that fast when I had a relaxer.

But of course, the hair looked fresh and live and neat which I love...AND it looked way longer lol.

I've come to find that because the locks are so small they act the same as natural hair...they shrink with water, my curls POP with water, and they mold to the way I sleep at night...

But overall, I'm still happy with my locks and I can't wait to fall in love with them once they lock up :-)

I come to you proud to say that I have successfully completed one of the activities on my DREAMS list.  I went to my FIRST  wine tasting EVER!!! Now it was not a traditional wine tasting where you go to a vineyard or a winery and sit down and have samples of wine brought to you. Rather, I was invited by one of the my closest friends to the 2010 Winefest in Addison. There were about 15 or so restaurants and several wine vendors totaling to more than 20 tables/stations with either wine and food or just wine. You would sample whichever wines you would like.

Now I've never been a big wine person at all. I can't get over the bitter/vinegar/fermented taste of it. I only do well with EXTREMELY sweet wines like moscato. My favorite is the Castello del Poggio Moscato that is served at the Olive Garden. I can drink that stuff like its juice. But I've made it a point to overcome this fear of mines and ACQUIRE a taste of wine. I'm not sure exactly how this works. I'm assuming that you just have to drink it enough to simply get over the taste. Not sure if that will work on me, but I'll give it a try.

First things first this Winefest. I felt extremely under dressed. I was pressed for time trying to come up with 2 outfits to wear for the club after the Winefest. Then of course I couldn't find crap-o-la because everything packed up. Then when I finally find an outfit the tights that I had to go with it either had runs or holes in the crotch. So I had to go buy some more.  I ended up simply wearing some sandals, dark blue jeans, and a thin grey sweater like shirt.  Everyone at the event were dressed in heels, boots , blazers and anything else formal.

Secondly, the food surprisingly was very good and semi veggie friendly. They had way more options than I was expecting. I thought I would only be able to eat cheese and fruit. Instead,  Iwas able to enjoy spinach and cheese quesadillas, vegetarian pizza, bruschetta, bruschetta with white beans and goat cheese (goat cheese I know right?!?!?!), chips and salsa, and greek salad and for dessert italian gelato. Your girl was full and feeling right by the end of the night.

Thirdly, the most important part of the night...WINE!!! I tried Merlot, Chianti, Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, Raspberry flavored Wine (can't remember the proper name of it), and my favorite SANGRIA, red AND white!!! I made frequent trips to the sangria table throughout the night.

Throughout the night  my company tried various wines and could taste the different flavors used to such as strawberries, cherries, raspberries and so on. I on the other hand couldn't taste diddly squat. It all tasted bitter to me, except for the sangria and the raspberry wine of course. Everytime they commented on the notes of the wine or whatever you want to call it, I was just lost like what the heck are you talking about? There's no strawberries in this.

Luckily for me there was one thing that trumped the bittersweet taste of wine. That was my company.  I went with my soror, my friend, my sister, Candace ,and her sister, Caresse. It was nice to catch up and spend some time with a good friend. Her sister, boy her sister had me rolling the entire night. From people watching to commenting on the refreshments to the obtainment of our tickets, I couldn't stop smiling and laughing.

So although I didn't acquire a taste for wine, I did enjoy a lot of laughs and lots of fun with dear friends :-)

So this very short post, is just to inform everyone that my guitar lessons have stopped or better yet been postponed. 

I was going to lessons for about 3 weeks, and when I actually took the time out to practice I did improve at a faster rate than I did when I was trying to learn on my own. The only problem was that I couldn't always work myself up to practicing at home by myself on a consistent basis.

I found myself going to lessons sometimes without having practiced at all. I figured that this was not fair to myself or my instructor. So  I will pick them up, when I'm more motivated to practice :-)

Have you ever been in place where you truly have no idea what to do, what to say or how to act? You're so bamboozled between your own feelings and desires and that of another? When you want to talk or hang out with someone SOOO badly, but you're unsure if the other person feels the same way? When you start to second guess whether or not you should text them "I want to see you" or "Hey lets grab something to eat" or anything that involves interactions between you two? You hesitate at acting on your thoughts concerning them for fear of looking or coming off as desperate or stalker-ish. You can't tell if you're being prideful or cautious of your own feelings.

Doesn't it frustrate you even more when you're typically AWESOME at reading other people and being able to tell when someone is or isn't into you? What their intentions are when it comes to you? If what they're saying is out of pure interest or just to entertain you and not hurt your feelings? And now you're at a crossroads, you can't tell if the person is just waiting for you to make the move, for you to show that you're genuinely interested in them or if they just aren't feeling you like that?

If you haven't been able to tell already, I hate the guessing game.  I hate playing games or trying to figure people out. It used to be my thing, it used to give me a thrill especially when I was right, but now....I'm at the point where I just want you to be straight up with me. No matter how good, bad or UGLY, it maybe.

Hence why GREY AREAS SUCK. They do nothing but cause stress and CONFUSION!

I think I've found it. My little place of tranquility, nature and peace. A place of simplicity and solitude. A place where I can recollect my thoughts and remember what it is that drives me. There was once a point in time where  I was driven by financial success. I wanted material possessions. I wanted the big 2 story house, the nice BMW in the drive way. The closet full of designer clothes. The body to kill for accompanied by the long flow hair and the flawless skin. With enough money to have a house in Spain and one in the Caribbeans.

But after spending time at the Cedars on the Brazos, I have realized that these things no longer drive the Nichollette that I am today. Instead I am driven by 4 things: the well being of all living beings, humans and non-humans alike, travel, nature and the search for God. I love animals purely hence the reason for me becoming a vegetarian. I love watching nature interact with nature. I sat for minutes watching a team or school or whatever of tadpoles in the Brazos river. I then spent the next few minutes trying to catch them in my hand. I watched spiders spin their webs in amazement and how they reacted when part of it was destroyed. I marvelled at the sight of cows grazing. I love going to sleep with sound of flowing water, crickets chirping and cattle calling each other. That is my peace. That is what I've found at the Cedars.

Here are just a few pics of what that peace looks like:

I thought this was one of the most amazing, rare finds in nature. Until low and behold,  I tried to take a shot from below and saw the hair clip attaching it lol.

This is the view from where  I meditated one morning. Just imagine coming out of meditation to see this :-)

Inside the Dream Catcher Suite...

Big Rock Park

Lexi and I inside the "Queen's Bathtub" at Big Rock Park.

I was under a boulder at the park, just thinking about how happy and blessed  I was at that moment.

I started playing with the camera features on my phone. I should go into photography huh???

Honeysuckle never smelled so sweet...

The view from the back porch. I would read and journal here in the morning and at night before bed.

I'm really starting to think photography is for me...

The End...

Sooooo yeah.....my yoga journey has taken some sharp turns and pauses along the way. I was attending the beginner yoga classes at Indigo, but I stopped because of work and I began gaining weight and the poses started getting harder for me to do. I refused to go to the Wednesday classes with the NOISY instructor. 

I also never made it over to Ananda Dallas the yoga center that combines Christianity and Yoga that I wrote about way back when.

Instead I have been attending a weekly Buddhist Meditation Class (of the Kadampa Buddhist Tradition- http://www.meditationintexas.org/ ) and have been meditating on my own and attending church whenever I get the chance.

The Buddhist classes have been AMAZING.  I even considered converting to Buddhism (not entirely) and starting their Foundation Program which is an in depth study of Buddhism. After my trip to California and truly thinking about this decision I decided that Buddhism is not the way for me. Mainly because I want to have a relationship with God and Buddhism does not really concern itself with God, mainly just ones ability to detach from earthly things to be released from samsara. The concepts are shockingly similar to Christian teachings.

One of my closest friends and I have similar outlooks when it comes to religion and spirituality. She took me to this place in LA called Lake Shrine. It is one of the retreat centers of the Self Realization Fellowship. (here are a few pics)

(This is the shrine dedicated to Mahatma Gandhi it contains a portion of his remains. The Founder of SRF, Paramahansa Yogananda, initiated Gandhi into the Kriya Yoga path.)

(If you can see it has a statue of Krishna, and a quote from the Bhagavad Gita)

Buddha

(Statue of Jesus Christ, he is at the highest point in the Meditation Gardens and is also the focal point)

Below is a representation of all the major faith traditions with their correlating prominent symbol.

The SRF was founded by Paramahansa Yogananda. He was a very well known Guru of the Kriya Yoga path that preached tolerance and involvment in all major faith traditions. For the most part he focuses on Christianity and Yoga.

When I first was looking at the website and researching, I thought it might of been a little cultish, but then I read over the main principles and began reading his book:

And I've decided that its EXACTLY what I'm looking for....I have ordered the Self Realization Lessons (the first 20). I won't receive them for another 4 to 6 weeks. I'm kind of nervous about it though. I'm scared....mainly because its completely different from what I'm used to.

As always, I will keep you posted.

So I know it has been a really really long time since I have posted anything on my blog. Needless to say a lot has been going in my life and I've been trying to get it figured out...But I have decided to do something extremely big at least for me and I can't keep it in any longer...

For the past few months, I have struggled with the maintenance of my hair. I've never been a hair person, never been good with styling, coming up with and sticking to a routine or any of that stuff and because of it my hair has never been at its best. NO matter how many more YouTube videos I watch or websites I look at I can never be consistent. Right now in my life, I NEED to feel as though I look good everyday. Lately I've been rocking a itsy bitsy fro with a headband. Its not picked out and its constantly breaking off....I just don't feel cute. I don't feel attractive and appealing.

I'm typically not a shallow or vain individual, but I need something to feel right, something to boost my confidence. With all of this being said, I have decided to lock my hair. I do not have the time or patience to twist it up every night, my job does not permit to wear cute funky hairstyles, and its not good to straighten it all the time. So the solution is SISTERLOCKS. All I have to do to them is literally wash and go. No moisturizers, no deep conditions, no twisting, just wash when I need to and go.

I know it will be a journey for me, they will not look amazing in the beginning, but like I said it is a journey for me. It is also a spiritual journey. One of my biggest obstacles that keep me from having the relationship I want with God is my attachment to earthly things and emotions.

I've always had my qualms about locks due to their permanence. And me feeling like I'm going to MISS MY FRO, MISS THE BIGNESS OF MY FRO, THE TWISTOUTS, THE BRAIDS and so on. Are you catching my drift???

If I can go through with this, this will show myself and God that I'm serious about making her first. If I can go through with this then I can detach from anything and not let money, clothes, shoes, or my emotions influence my decisions.

I know this may seem farfetched, but these are my thoughts.

I posted a decision about hair on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rkC2P64Yxo) and plan on  tracking this new journey that I'm embarking on....I hope you'll join me :-)

So I made it to my second yoga lesson and needless to say I did not enjoy it at all.

I expect and intend to receive relaxation and tranquility from my yoga. I come want to relieve any stress that I have acquired since my last yoga lesson.

AND loud music and continual loud talking from this particular instructor is not what I had in mind.

I was already dazzled and in desperate need of peace before I had arrived just because of all the traffic and rushing I had to do to get there before they lock the doors.

I arrive only to find the room crowded with people and extremely loud music playing before class.

Now don't get me wrong I don't mind music playing during my yoga session as long as its soothing, relaxing and wordless. She had freakin' Colbie Callait booming. I thought ok maybe she'll turn it down when class starts and NO. It continued to.play for the ENTIRE session. And because the music was playing so loud she had to talk over it so could hear her.

I won't continue to rant anymore but this session was not worth my money or time :-(

If any of you have read my LIST OF DREAMS than you know that it is a goal of mines to get in shape and be healthy. I have noticed lately that its harder for me to walk up the stairs and I easily lose my breath.

I have also been trying to get my mother to lose weight and get in shape as well. We have both been battling this for quite a while. Now don't get me wrong I'm not huge or anything, but I'm truly out of shape and would like to lead an active lifestyle.

So my mom and I have come up with a bet. At first It was going to be something crazy like who can stick with the longest. Than it gradually became more realistic and we decided on the first to lose 20 pounds. We decided on 20 simply because I don't want to lose more than that.

We were supposed to start on Monday. Needless to say, she did not show up to weigh herself. When I weighed myself via Wii Fit Plus at 8:27 am on July 19th, I went from 150 lbs to 147 lbs (I had been trying to get in shape for about a week prior to the "weigh in"). Now our bodies weight shifts throughout the day and my little Wii board did inform me that it was actually in the middle of the day, when I weighed myself 11 days prior. So it is possible that I didn't lose anything, but nonetheless the bet went down to the first to 15 lbs, lol.

So now its on....I haven't worked out in about 2 or 3 days. I know I need to get back on it...AAAANNNNDDD I plan on taking a trip to Cali, mid September and I do plan on going to the beach. Yeah,  its getting real.

*whispering* and yesterday I pigged out and had not one, not two but 3 chocolate chip cookies and a bag of my favorite parmesan garlic potato chips and now its 4pm the next day and I have yet to workout...not looking to good huh???

So I have devised a plan to help me on my yogic journey...Although I'm doing this not for the exercise, but to seek a deeper union with God, I do understand that the poses/postures (whichever you prefer) do play a major part in it.

     

*These were too cute, I had to include them somehow.

So far I have found 2 places, I'm going to try out, Indigo Yoga and Ananda Dallas. At first, I was going to solely use Indigo Yoga. They have beginners classes, all levels classes, private instruction and meditation on Wednesdays. All a girl could ever ask for right???

I want to be able to learn the basic poses (beginners classes), continue practicing yoga (all levels classes), meditate on a consistent basis (meditation) and receive one on one spiritual advice on how to use yoga to help me accomplish a divine union (private instruction...AAAAHHHH wrong). Everything was perfect except for the latter. The price of private instruction was too much for little ole me. I know I'm making decent money now, but not that much.

So my search begun again. I found a really cool place called Ananda Dallas. Even though they are much much further away from me, they are cheaper. And guess what else is really cool about them??? They offer a Sunday service that combines meditation, chanting, worship and reading from both the Bible and the Bhagavad Gita. I'm not saying that I will become an avid service goer, but it was nice to know that Christianity does have its place at this yoga center.

But before I go there, I want to get the basic postures down to a tee. I will be attending the rest of the beginners series at Indigo Yoga and then transition to the services provided at Ananda Dallas.

I can't wait to hear God as clearly as Adam and Eve....

 Whats the difference between vegetarianism and veganism? Some people don't differentiate between the two and others do. I'm one of the ones that do. I hold a vegetarian to be someone who does not eat meat, anything of flesh. A vegan is a much stricter vegetarian that does not eat, by or use anything that is made from an animal. This includes any dairy products or by products, eggs and by products of eggs, honey, fur clothing and leather made merchandise.

I've always wanted to take my view on animals rights a step further. I just didn't know when. At first I was going to give myself a timeline of 5 years of being a vegetarian. Then I went into I'll do it when the time is  right; meaning whenever I felt that it was the right time.

Then I moved to Thailand, where I witnessed mistreated animals and read about the abuse that they receive. I changed a lot while living over there. I was able to prioritize and confront a lot of things internally and externally. I knew that veganism was going to be in my near future. But before I made that change I wanted to be sure that nothing would stand in my way. NO EXCUSES this time.

So my 2 year anniversary it would be.....Well that 2 year anniversary was 5 days ago....So I began.

Instead of going cold turkey like I did with vegetarianism I'm strategizing this time. But my strategy will act more as a guideline (I will explain what I mean later). Here it is:

July 15th - October 15th

October 15th - January 15th

 

January 15th - April 15th

April 15th - July 15th

July 15th - The End of My Life

(had to throw this in :-)

When I state EGGS, MILK, CHEESE AND BUTTER, I mean soley those products by themselves, not products that contain these. I have decided to do it in this way because I know that this is going to be way harder for me than just being a vegetarian. It is going to severely limit me in the places that I can eat at and what I can eat when I go. I want to ease myself into it, so that I can do it right and not cave in.

So when will I stop eating products that contain the main four??? Along the way and most definitely after July 15th. I think that as I master the 4 main categories, it will become easier and easier for me to give up products that contain them such as egg noodles and soups from Olive Garden, homemade pancakes, muffins, Naked drinks and even margaritas (yeah I know, they actually have eggs in them).

But like I said this is more of a guideline. If I feel that I can move on before my deadline then I will; if I think that I can cut out the products that use the main 4 along the way then I will. A friend once told me, as long as I'm trying thats all that matters.

WISH ME LUCK!!!