Dying Dreams

As I Grew Older by Langston Hughes

It was a long time ago.
I have almost forgotten my dream.
But it was there then,
In front of me,
Bright like a sun--
My dream.
And then the wall rose,
Rose slowly,
Slowly,
Between me and my dream.
Rose until it touched the sky--
The wall.
Shadow.
I am black.
I lie down in the shadow.
No longer the light of my dream before me,
Above me.
Only the thick wall.
Only the shadow.
My hands!
My dark hands!
Break through the wall!
Find my dream!
Help me to shatter this darkness,
To smash this night,
To break this shadow
Into a thousand lights of sun,
Into a thousand whirling dreams
Of sun!

This was another poem I found by Langston Hughes that yet agains sums up everything that I'm feeling. Even though, I know this poem is describing how his dreams are smashed and darkened due to racism in society for me it represents my dreams being burnt out by myself.

I used to be filled with so much energy and motivation to fulfill my dreams. I would come up with them and then initiate making them come true. And somewhere along the way, I have lost that inspiration. I think it has been due to me putting so much effort into my spiritual path that I've forgotten everything else. I've forgotten the playful aspect of spirituality. I've forgotten to have fun. I've forgotten about my dreams and with each day, they are growing older and getting closer to death.

I hope that one day I can revive them.