Time really does fly. I'm already at the end of week 3 of my "challenge" and so much and yet so "little" has happened to me. I won't promise that all the details will be recalled, but the bigger picture realizations will definitely be covered. Week 2 was quite tough for me. I literally didn't do any sadhana, with the exception of 2 or 3 days where I prayed and chanted and maybe 1 or 2 days of asana. I knew this part would come. As my spiritual guide always says there are always highs and lows, so there is in life, so there will be on the spiritual path forever. The only thing that changes is how one chooses to react and perceive the "lows." Week 2 was definitely, a low. I allowed the idea that nothing should be forced. I didn't want to do anything, go anywhere, talk to anyone really or think about anything, I just wanted to sit there wasting my time and killing my brain cells by watching hours and hours of TV on end. I didn't even walk my dog! As I didn't want to force myself, I did nothing. For many days that's seriously, what I did. Then I began to wonder, why I didn't feel like doing anything?
At first, I trumped it up to some spiritual karma or something. There's "something else" keeping me from doing spiritual practices, that's it. It's not my fault or at least not from this life. Than I thought no, no that's too simple and not true. I can't take the blame off of myself. Why aren't I not motivated? Then I thought because I have so much to do, thesis revisions, thesis defense presentations, bills to pay, budgeting, food, looking and applying to all kinds of jobs, worrying about finances. I can't do sadhana until those things are taken care of. It's not sadhana, if my mind is completely on those things right? I felt like I was starting to get to the bottom of it, when the next question that popped into my head was "Why do they take up so much time and your spiritual practices which are very important too, if not more, do not?"
That's when I had a click, one that didn't make me feel that much better. I felt like I needed to spend time on thesis things and work and so on, but I just wanted to do sadhana. WHOA!!!! It felt like my heart was aching a bit. Why didn't I feel like I needed to sadhana? Was this bad? Is this good? Should sadhana be a need or should it remain a want as to be enjoyed when its is performed. Or should someone force themselves to do sadhana because its been said in all the books that it is good for you. So with that should I force myself to do sadhana , even though there are times when I don't want to? I've always had my friends, especially those who are spiritually inclined and motivated tell me that one shouldn't force anything, especially sadhana. My guide reminded me of this as well. Force should not be a factor, role player or present on the spiritual path. It should be natural and flowing like a river...but (and this is my "mind" at work here) at the same time the river doesn't not flow idly, it actively moves, swerves and curves passed and over rocks and land. So one should be active on the spiritual path, too.
So how does one decide what role sadhana plays on a spiritual seeker's path? Should it be a want or a need? Should sadhana be forced? If not, how does one define and know when they should be active and when they should not do something because they are forcing it? I would love to hear what you think. So message me on Facebook, email or leave a comment below...
At first, I trumped it up to some spiritual karma or something. There's "something else" keeping me from doing spiritual practices, that's it. It's not my fault or at least not from this life. Than I thought no, no that's too simple and not true. I can't take the blame off of myself. Why aren't I not motivated? Then I thought because I have so much to do, thesis revisions, thesis defense presentations, bills to pay, budgeting, food, looking and applying to all kinds of jobs, worrying about finances. I can't do sadhana until those things are taken care of. It's not sadhana, if my mind is completely on those things right? I felt like I was starting to get to the bottom of it, when the next question that popped into my head was "Why do they take up so much time and your spiritual practices which are very important too, if not more, do not?"
That's when I had a click, one that didn't make me feel that much better. I felt like I needed to spend time on thesis things and work and so on, but I just wanted to do sadhana. WHOA!!!! It felt like my heart was aching a bit. Why didn't I feel like I needed to sadhana? Was this bad? Is this good? Should sadhana be a need or should it remain a want as to be enjoyed when its is performed. Or should someone force themselves to do sadhana because its been said in all the books that it is good for you. So with that should I force myself to do sadhana , even though there are times when I don't want to? I've always had my friends, especially those who are spiritually inclined and motivated tell me that one shouldn't force anything, especially sadhana. My guide reminded me of this as well. Force should not be a factor, role player or present on the spiritual path. It should be natural and flowing like a river...but (and this is my "mind" at work here) at the same time the river doesn't not flow idly, it actively moves, swerves and curves passed and over rocks and land. So one should be active on the spiritual path, too.
So how does one decide what role sadhana plays on a spiritual seeker's path? Should it be a want or a need? Should sadhana be forced? If not, how does one define and know when they should be active and when they should not do something because they are forcing it? I would love to hear what you think. So message me on Facebook, email or leave a comment below...
