Acharya Shree Yogeesh once said to me that problems are blessings. Problems keep the truth seeker seeking. They also make or break the truth seeker. Like all things, in the beginning, one is excited and eager to engage in the fresh activity. It is not until the "honeymoon" stage is over, that an outsider can see, if the freshman was genuine in their attempt or simply going with the trend.
I have been trying to find my spiritual path for about a year and some change. I wavered with this and that, and never tried or stuck with anything for more than a month (if that). It was not until the first of this year, that I believe I truly found it. Now I'm being tested to see if my interest is pure in origin or just out of vain.
Luckily, I can honestly say that I have been more dedicated to my sadhana than ever before. Since January 1st, I have either done yoga, pranayama, meditation and meditative writing or a combination of the former every day. Some days I do all, other days I only write, other days I only sit down in my meditation corner and just sit in silence and others I do multiple spiritual practices at a time. But in either case, I'm trying and I'm putting forth an effort towards my spiritual progress.
There are times where I feel as though I'm doing this out of habit, out of an obligation to Acharya Shree. It's kind of weird. I have this overwhelming sense to do whatever he says to do with no hesitation. I feel like he's my father and I'm the overly obedient child.
But any who, I digress. I wrote all of this to say that when a truth seeker truly begins their journey spiritual warfare is sure to ensue. Why you may ask? Because you are beginning to break down an entity that has been with you since birth, growing with you as you get older, getting stronger with every year, every month, each day and every moment, your mind.
When your mind knows that it's about to go bye bye, it is going to do everything in its power to keep that from happening. This is where the tests come in. Tests of your strength, dedication, courage, will, faith and motivation. Every thought and action will be questioned and tested.
The only way to pass these tests is to remember your motivation, your inspiration for beginning your journey. Stay dedicated to your spiritual practices. Every truth seeker will waver in the beginning, but a true truth seeker will remember their reason for wanting to start their journey. They will remember what awakened their soul to their path. This and only this will allow you to soar with flying colors.
