Over the past year or so, my spiritual path and I have not gotten along so well. If you've read any of the blogs during that time, you know exactly what I'm talking about (go to the About Here section and click on The Dark Times or Peaches 'N' Carrots to get caught up).
I've had so many mental ups and downs when there wasn't really a need for it. I don't have a bad life, but for some reason I chose to be negative, sad and depressed for almost a year!!! I don't want 2013 to be that way. I want 2013 to be my year of positivity. My year of spiritual growth. My year of happiness. I don't want to waste any more of the time I have left on this earth, in this body, in this life on anything or anyone negative. Life is too short. And luckily I'm still young enough to realize this and change it before I feel like its too late (which to be honest sometimes I still do ;-). So The 50 Weeks of Me Project begins.
Now you may wonder why 50 instead of 52 weeks...the "happiness" realization didn't come so fast :-/ I spent the first 2 weeks of 2013 still moping around and in this sort of a slump not feeling too good about myself and what was ahead of me. So it wasn't until January 13, 2012 on one of my Silent Spiritual Sundays that this idea came to me. I was sitting down and just thinking about my life and the date. Yes the date. 2 weeks of the new year had already past and soon it would be February and it hit me again how fast time flies. And I thought to myself, "what do I want to accomplish?" "what do I want to do this year?" "what do I want it to look like?"
The Answer: ME! Regardless of what I was doing or what came up, I want to truly start focusing on me and my body and my Self. And so the idea began to form. For many a couple of years, I've mentioned and desired to truly get in tune with myself, with my Soul so that I could connect with God in this life. And in order to do that I must first take care of my self, starting with the body. I actually wrote a blog about starting with the body, but I never put my realization into practice and I'm tired of making excuses...so...NO MORE!
The motivation behind The 50 Weeks of Me Project is simply to focus on myself, focus on taking care of me and doing what I need to do to enjoy every moment of my life and learn about myself. Sounds selfish and self-centered doesn't it? And in many ways it is. I've always put pressure on myself to take care of others, to make the necessary sacrifices for them to be happy no matter the cost, even if its to myself. Although there is nothing wrong with putting others' happiness first, sometimes you get to a point where you are so run down that you have no energy left to do that for others because you haven't done it for yourself. And I'm at that point. The point where I need to develop the habits, practices and perspectives that will allow for ME to be happy and healthy. So that I won't deplete myself when being there for others.
I decided on this idea because I truly want to in tune with myself and fall in love with...ME...just be myself. I've been struggling on how to conceptualize all of this, how to organize it and put it all done on paper in the form of concrete tasks and actions and in many ways I'm still trying to finalize it.
So I tried to start with the first realization that I had about needing to take care of the body first. So first thing... start a daily yoga routine.
I really like yoga and the purpose behind it. Of using the body as a means to connect with the Soul and ultimately connect with God. Cleansing and purifying it. Pushing it to the limit and beyond as a physical representation of our own inherent abilities. So that's step number one. Practicing yoga and working my way up to performing all aspects of the yogic system, pranayama, meditation and asanas, 6 days a week.
Second, I've decided to implement at least one day of silence per week. This is my way of being able to shut everything and everyone out to be able to listen to myself and the thoughts that float around. Thus allowing me to truly get to know myself and who I truly am. This is also my day to have fun and go explore. To get rid of the pressures of school, work, thesis writing and pressure from my loved ones and friends to be there. This is a day for myself and my Soul.
The third section, I haven't quite figured out yet. I say this because one of the other issues that sparked this project was my knack for thinking that in order for my life to be fulfilled and happy and full of love, I need to have that "ONE" person to be there all the time. I have a tendency to fall into this trap of thinking that my life sucks because I don't have a boyfriend or my friends aren't calling me all the time or correction when I need them to be calling me or not doing my school and professional work or just not enjoying my life and the people in it because I don't have that "ONE" person in my life to hold me. Or putting myself to sleep dreaming about me and a crush. I don't want to continue to do this to myself. I want to be happy with just me not needing anyone else but not cutting them out either, but having them move from an end all be all factor to my happiness to complimenting or enhancing it you know?
But how do I this? Do or should I purposely shut myself off from my family and friends so that I learn to happy alone or restrict them to only talking to me at certain times or do I just find a balance as I go? Having the strength to not talk to them when I truly have work to do and purposely not letting myself dream about love and relationships and the future and focus on the present.
Project began January 14, 2012....to be continued...
I've had so many mental ups and downs when there wasn't really a need for it. I don't have a bad life, but for some reason I chose to be negative, sad and depressed for almost a year!!! I don't want 2013 to be that way. I want 2013 to be my year of positivity. My year of spiritual growth. My year of happiness. I don't want to waste any more of the time I have left on this earth, in this body, in this life on anything or anyone negative. Life is too short. And luckily I'm still young enough to realize this and change it before I feel like its too late (which to be honest sometimes I still do ;-). So The 50 Weeks of Me Project begins.
Now you may wonder why 50 instead of 52 weeks...the "happiness" realization didn't come so fast :-/ I spent the first 2 weeks of 2013 still moping around and in this sort of a slump not feeling too good about myself and what was ahead of me. So it wasn't until January 13, 2012 on one of my Silent Spiritual Sundays that this idea came to me. I was sitting down and just thinking about my life and the date. Yes the date. 2 weeks of the new year had already past and soon it would be February and it hit me again how fast time flies. And I thought to myself, "what do I want to accomplish?" "what do I want to do this year?" "what do I want it to look like?"
The Answer: ME! Regardless of what I was doing or what came up, I want to truly start focusing on me and my body and my Self. And so the idea began to form. For many a couple of years, I've mentioned and desired to truly get in tune with myself, with my Soul so that I could connect with God in this life. And in order to do that I must first take care of my self, starting with the body. I actually wrote a blog about starting with the body, but I never put my realization into practice and I'm tired of making excuses...so...NO MORE!
The motivation behind The 50 Weeks of Me Project is simply to focus on myself, focus on taking care of me and doing what I need to do to enjoy every moment of my life and learn about myself. Sounds selfish and self-centered doesn't it? And in many ways it is. I've always put pressure on myself to take care of others, to make the necessary sacrifices for them to be happy no matter the cost, even if its to myself. Although there is nothing wrong with putting others' happiness first, sometimes you get to a point where you are so run down that you have no energy left to do that for others because you haven't done it for yourself. And I'm at that point. The point where I need to develop the habits, practices and perspectives that will allow for ME to be happy and healthy. So that I won't deplete myself when being there for others.
I decided on this idea because I truly want to in tune with myself and fall in love with...ME...just be myself. I've been struggling on how to conceptualize all of this, how to organize it and put it all done on paper in the form of concrete tasks and actions and in many ways I'm still trying to finalize it.
So I tried to start with the first realization that I had about needing to take care of the body first. So first thing... start a daily yoga routine.
I really like yoga and the purpose behind it. Of using the body as a means to connect with the Soul and ultimately connect with God. Cleansing and purifying it. Pushing it to the limit and beyond as a physical representation of our own inherent abilities. So that's step number one. Practicing yoga and working my way up to performing all aspects of the yogic system, pranayama, meditation and asanas, 6 days a week.
Second, I've decided to implement at least one day of silence per week. This is my way of being able to shut everything and everyone out to be able to listen to myself and the thoughts that float around. Thus allowing me to truly get to know myself and who I truly am. This is also my day to have fun and go explore. To get rid of the pressures of school, work, thesis writing and pressure from my loved ones and friends to be there. This is a day for myself and my Soul.
The third section, I haven't quite figured out yet. I say this because one of the other issues that sparked this project was my knack for thinking that in order for my life to be fulfilled and happy and full of love, I need to have that "ONE" person to be there all the time. I have a tendency to fall into this trap of thinking that my life sucks because I don't have a boyfriend or my friends aren't calling me all the time or correction when I need them to be calling me or not doing my school and professional work or just not enjoying my life and the people in it because I don't have that "ONE" person in my life to hold me. Or putting myself to sleep dreaming about me and a crush. I don't want to continue to do this to myself. I want to be happy with just me not needing anyone else but not cutting them out either, but having them move from an end all be all factor to my happiness to complimenting or enhancing it you know?
But how do I this? Do or should I purposely shut myself off from my family and friends so that I learn to happy alone or restrict them to only talking to me at certain times or do I just find a balance as I go? Having the strength to not talk to them when I truly have work to do and purposely not letting myself dream about love and relationships and the future and focus on the present.
Project began January 14, 2012....to be continued...
