For the past 6 weeks, I have been held
prisoner in India by myself. I’ve been too afraid to venture out of the comfort
of my room alone for fear of being harassed. I’ve been out visiting places with
other participants in this academic program, but I haven’t been able to go the
places that I want to. If you haven’t read my blogs, I’m a tad bit special. I’m
not like many tourists who want to go to all the popular places that Lonely
Planet lists as a must see…especially in India.
I want to visit the places that most people
avoid and don’t care to see…the spiritual places that truly change and inspire
you. But I don’t want to just go and see them. I want to experience them, soak
in all that positive energy and just wallow in it. Just sit there and be
transformed in some way. I want to see the spiritual side that makes
India…India.
Although, my main purpose (and should
probably be my sole purpose) for this trip to India is academic. I’m here to go
out into the field and collect data on Jain nuns. Women who have chosen to
renounce the world in pursuit of truth, freedom from suffering and ultimately
bliss. I know, I know that will be a spiritual adventure in itself, but why not
free two birds with one key (like that twist don’t you…nonviolence ;-). Luckily
my research is religious and spirituality focused which allows for me…almost
requires me to frequent spiritual places such as temples, mosques, shrines,
monasteries and pilgrimage places and more. So when I left for India back in
May, not only did I want to collect a ton of information on Jain nuns, but I
also wanted to solidify the direction my spiritual path is going to take. I
want to find clarity and spiritual renewal while I’m here…Erase some of the
clouds that have been hanging over me. Open doors that are keeping me from
myself…But I won’t be able to experience any of it, if I’m afraid.
As I’m writing this blog entry, I’m
residing in a semi-Monastic center known as the Root Institute in Bodhgaya,
Bihar, India. If you don’t know, Bodhgaya is the place where Buddha sat in
meditation under the great Bodhi tree until he obtained enlightenment (yeah I
know). This place is AMAZING. There are
palm trees, jasmine trees and just green everywhere. The pace of the city is
slow and quiet, so unlike the busy chaos which characterizes Varanasi but fear
is still lurking in the midst.
I’m here with another male in the program,
but he leaves before I do. So for 3 and a half days…I’m here alone. And that
scared me. And it didn’t help that this town is filled with men and everywhere
I turn someone is asking me where am I from? What is my name? How long am I
here? Where am I staying? And here’s the kicker, “Are you alone?”
I
began entertaining the idea of booking an earlier train back to Varanasi and
just staying on the grounds of Root Institute until my departure, but then the
voices of Elizabeth Gilbert and Rita Goldmen Gelman ring out. If you haven’t
heard me mention Eat, Pray, Love or allude to it in anyway please check out
this YouTube video,
instead of reading about my relationship with that book. As far as Rita, she’s
becoming my hero and is currently playing a major role in spiritual and
travelling life.
Rita Goldmen Gelman is the author of “Tales
of A Female Nomad.” Similar to Gilbert, due to an unhappy marriage and a
suppressed hunger for travel, Rita ventures out into the world in her late
forties in search of adventure and relationships with people of other cultures.
But unlike, Gilbert she doesn’t set a specific timeframe of one year or limit her
travels to 3 places. Instead she literally becomes a nomad. Selling off
everything she owns with the exception of a backpack and a few clothes. And she
travels to places she’s always dreamed of or places her old classmates suggest
like Borneo. And in each place the length of time she spends varies from weeks
to years. Rita does this all as a single
woman travelling alone. She befriends others along the way and takes risk,
risks that many would describe as insane and uncautious. But she does it anyway
and as such many doors are open which would otherwise remain closed for others.
One of these doors allows her to stay in Bali for 4 years. 4 YEARS!!! Just on a
recommendation of a passenger on a flight to Bali who gives her the name of
someone in town. Rita goes to see them the minute she gets off the plane and
they offer her a place to stay right on the spot. CRAZY right?!?!?! I want to
be like her when I grow up… I want to be like her now.
I don’t want to let fear keep me from
experiencing India from this blessing in disguise that I’ve been given. I will
be living in India for another 5 months and how crazy would it be of me to stay
locked up in my room the WHOLE time? I
want to take risks, I want to open myself up to what India and her people have
to offer me. I want to seize those rare opportunities that come my way. I want to live India. I want to have an
adventure.
So with that...no more hiding, no more treating myelf like an inmate. I'm making a pledge to have no regrets and to walk through any door that opens. My father says he should have chipped me when he recognized that I was a flight risk. And maybe he should have because I'm about to take off ;-)
