Monsoons of Bodhgaya

After a peaceful morning of reading and writing, I decided to check my email at the internet café that was about a 5 minute bike ride away. As I’m checking my emails and sending out a couple, I notice a noise coming from outside, but because I was too paranoid of all the Indian men surrounding me I didn’t dare look away from computer screen until I was ready to leave. And sure enough the little pitter patter that I heard was none other than the beginning of a huge rainstorm…aka monsoon season has finally hit India.

For a while, I never thought it would come. Something I’ve never experienced, I was hoping to be able to walk through knew high puddles of water while holding my sari up or ride a bicycle through the rain like the locals or at the very least sit outside on someone’s patio and just watch. Now the latter two,  I could have taken care of today, but seeing as though I was wearing a white skirt and my Kindle with me, I wasn’t too keen on riding my bike through the rain. Instead what I got was an extra wet tuk tuk ride with the bike riding side saddle. It was one of the most liberating moments in my life (even though it lasted for less than 3 minutes). I know I know it may sound like a stretch but here me out…

For the past 6 weeks, I’ve been beating myself up about not enjoying myself and being too afraid to go out on my own and just enjoy every moment that I have in India. As such, I’ve been restricting myself to the safe compound of the campus grounds we’ve been staying in or waiting to go out only when a large group does which typically means sacrificing the experiences and places that I want to see and moments I want to add to my memory book…Flashbacks of my time in Thailand started to arise. I was so afraid of what would happen if I went against the rules of safety for women travelling alone, especially those travelling alone in India. I was putting myself in a prison.

Even as it was raining today, instead of doing what I wanted to do (which was ride in rain or at least walk to a tuk tuk in the rain) I listened to the Indian men who told me to wait the storm out. So that’s what I did I waited and I waited like I had been doing since I arrived in India. I was a good little girl and followed the rules, followed the directions that were given to me. As I sat there, thoughts of liberation and freedom began to arise. Didn’t I set out to free myself from prescribed norms and illusion while I was in India?  Didn’t I say that I was going to do things for me and no one else? Hadn’t I learn from my past regrets of playing it safe in Thailand?

So the next tuk tuk I see (which so happened to pull right up to the internet café), I jump up to ask him to take me and my bike home. He does. I run out in the rain, hoist my bike into the back of his tuk tuk and squat on the seat, tucking in my white skirt with one arm holding my bike and the other holding onto the rails. I felt like a big little kid :-p

As he rode and I was splashed by rain, I couldn’t stop smiling. We dove into chai colored puddles and I squinched as to not let a drop touch me, but secretly hoping to get splashed and just enjoyed riding through the rain. I watched as we passed little Indian boys intentionally jumping in the puddles and groups of little Indian girls walking as if they weren’t completely soaked. I saw teenagers riding their bikes and racing to get home. I saw… joy and I had a little peace of my own in the middle of a storm.