My soul, simply put, told me that it was my fault. My actions, my yelling caused him to react the way that he did. I lost myself and in doing so, I had to reap the consequences of that.
More profound than that was something else....My soul whispered to me to deal with it.
Over and over, I was telling myself to just go ahead and call it quits. I kept thinking of how I needed to start finding another job, so I could just leave. To call this person and this agency and this and that. But my soul was saying NO!
I had to deal with my actions, my problems and learn how to stay on my path in the midst of everything. To stop running away from my problems, to stop being a coward.
Although I had this epiphany on Thursday, I have not been able to shake the fear of losing my job to this very moment. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. When I feel or think like this, it makes me want to pick up my legs and start running.
But today, I came home and watched the YouTube videos of an enlightened master. One in particular talked about my inner struggle of this past week.
It reminded me of what my soul said...to be strong, don't run away, deal with it. I hope that you will be able to take something away from this...I hope you take away strength.
