It has been
an EXTREMELY long time since I have posted a blog about my travels and
experiences in India. It has already been 2 months!!! I can't believe it. But to try and play catch up would be a
monstrous task. SOOOO much has happened to me and not all of it good. A matter
of fact I would say that 75% has been beyond crappy and the other 25% has been
so so...Never mind I'll correct that…75% has been crappy, 20% has been so so
and 5% has actually been good.
I thought
being in India would allow for me to rediscover or recapture rather spiritual
energy and to get closer to my final goal. But after 2 months, my spiritual
path has been shaken and stirred. What was once slightly paved has now
regressed to a field. Not even a path can be seen from other's footsteps. It is a fresh field of foliage waiting for a
path to be laid out. I have had
strangers challenge my ideas and others make me question what my path should
look like...what I want my path to look like and who I want to be. Stranger
have helped me to see the beauty of living in a material world and how Earth
can be heaven. Loved ones have hurt and betrayed me. And a close male friend
that I thought would potentially become more than that gets further and further
away.
I have
arrived at a point where there is no way to turn the situation around other
than to start over. With that, I will
say the first major lesson I've learned from India is knowing when to cut your
losses and just begin a new. Sometimes a house just gets too mirky, too run
down that there is no way to clean it, no way to repair it. The only thing you
can do is pack up your things and find a
new home….That is what I'm doing…
I've
realized that there are certain people, certain spiritual practices, goals and
destinations that no longer have a place in my life...It is time for me to
start over…
Luckily, I'm
in the perfect place to do it. In India, away from family, friends and
familiarity. I'm forced to find things on my own, make my own decisions and be
my own person. And I have the added
bonus of being surrounded by young Indian women my age that have made a very
big decision to lead an ascetic life. And they like me! They really like me!
I'm starting
over in more ways than one and in what ways will be saved for another post...
