Before I begin this entry, I need to apologize. I have been in somewhat of a bad state the last couple of weeks which turned into a month of neglection from my blog; which kind of reflects a neglection from my soul.
The last month has been one of the toughest rollercoasters I've had to ride (although I'm sure there are worst to come).
I have fluctutated between the world and my soul. I've had doubts and worry; confusion and confidence; darkness with minimal light. While being in this flux, instead of cleaning my soul of the soot that surrounds it, I just pounded more and more on.
I went back to things that do nothing but keep me in the traps of the mind. That keep me in this cycle of the world.
During sadhana, one morning I realized that I truly needed to cleanse myself; to get rid of as many toxins and negativities as I could...I wasn't sure of exactly how to do this, but I knew I needed to do something.
I fasted. During that short stint, I realized that before I could truly get rid of all the dirt and crud that surrounds me, I had to get rid of the dirt and soot around me.
Meaning you put out what you put in.
I was eating junk foods like french fries, chips, popcorn, sodas, ice cream, cookies, vegetable eggrolls and pasta that had egg. I was putting in negative and harmful foods in my body.
My house, my living area wasn't clean. I hadn't vacuumed or dusted in weeks. All that accumulation from the negativities of each day was just sitting there. This is what I was sleeping in, clothing in.
No wonder, I was constantly going back and forth. No wonder why my soul was choking.
I had to stop or my soul would continue to choke until it took its last breath.
You have to purify your body and your environment before you can even FATHOM of going into the deep inner core of your soul.
